Why do I need an extended warrantee for!
by supersandman86
Summary: Hiccup has to buy a TV, never simple for him. Funny short one shot.


**Okay lads and lasses, a quick one shot here requested by my sister after I gave her an idea about it. Basically a joke done by the late John Pinette, funnier when he did it but all for a good laugh. Enjoy.**

 **Why do I need an extended warrantee?!**

In the city of Berk upon the street called Fury Avenue usually a peaceful quiet place at the best of times, but at this very moment all that can be heard is a hysterical laughter coming from the Haddock residence as Astrid Hofferson listens on to her boyfriend, Hiccup Haddock, on what happened when he went on a stag weekend in vegas with his friends and the groom to be, Fishlegs.

"Are you serious babe?!" she asked trying to contain her laughter as he replied with a nod.

"It's true! Because he lost all his money in the casino, he got his own back at the buffet" Hiccup replies scratching the tip of his nose, recalling the who situation "if I remember what he said was 'nine ninety five all you can eat, we'll see who wins this handout!' he had everything! The manager came out, he couldn't believe it, he was horrified, he looked like a deer caught in headlights when I saw him he was like..." Hiccup then preceded to do a stunned, shocked and yet scared face, giving Astrid a picture at what the manager looked like, making her laugh once again as he carried on.

"He didn't even look at the waiter next to him, he just kept staring and said 'get the prime rib back in the kitchen now!' the casino owner eventually gave his money back if we leave"

Astrid was struggling to breathe at this point she was laughing so much, after her boring time at Heathers hen party, she needed a good laugh.

"So then you all went back to the hotel?" Hiccup simply shook his head with a smile.

"Nope, because Snotlout wanted to try out another all you can eat buffet that was sushi, me, Eret, Fishlegs and Dagur had to listen to him moan about the price and what it contained 'twenty two ninety five for raw fish?! Twenty two ninety five and they can throw Moby on the grill!" Astrid was still chuckle but was a little confused, like Hiccup forgot something, or someone.

"If you're wondering where Tuff was, he was procuring a live seal from a nearby park to sneak in I don't know how and eats buckets full of fish"

"You're kidding?!"

"I wish! The manager came out and was pissed, was rude though, kept coming out every hour, heard him say as I was coming from the bathroom 'son-of a bitches still here!' before approaching the table and looked directly at Fishlegs"

"I bet he was scary for legs"

"Even more when he yelled, he sounded like Lord Toranaga from shogun" Hiccup cleared his throat trying to do his best Japanese "'hey you, big boy! You eat like free willy! Get out!' and Fishlegs did, followed by us and an overweight seal" that was enough for Astrid to fall on the floor in hysterics.

As she was recovering from the story, Hiccup receives a text from his dad which made him go wide eyed which got the attention of a recovering Astrid who was up immediately with concern.

"You okay babe?"

"Just got a text from dad..." he replied with a sigh as his girlfriend watched on thinking there was bad news as he carried on.

"Dad wants me to get him a new TV as the last one just blew up"

Sighing with relief, Astrid proceeded to punching Hiccup in the shoulder.

"You muttonhead! You made it sound like something terrible happened!"

"In a way it has" he replied rubbing the sore part of his shoulder where she hit him. Astrid meanwhile was confused.

"What you mean by that?"

"You know I hate going shopping" she replied with a deadpan look on his face.

She was still confused, her and Hiccup usually enjoyed having a good shop around, of course that consisted of sportswear, which usually ended with a quickie in the changing room. Or comics and games. She supposed that shopping for certain things got on his nerves or it was her keeping him sane.

"Can't your dad get it?"

Hiccup looked at her like she just shot a cat.

"You kidding me? Have you ever seen Stoick 'the vast' Haddock shop for electronics? He's worse than me!"

"How?"

"You know when my mom tried to toast that low carb bread?"

Astrid thought for a second before nodding with a reply.

"Well after the toaster blew up, dad decided to get a new one, as you know he's very traditionalist and never bother about giving name and address out for minor things or extended warrantees for them. Well they tried to get him with that by saying if the toaster breaks they can repair it, well that was it my dad got up to booming voice, right in front of everyone and shouted" Hiccup once again cleared his throat once more as he did his best Stoick impression.

"I'm not giving out my address for a toaster! I'm not adopting it! Once this toaster leaves the store, you're never gonna see it again! And as for the toaster breaking, if it happens, I'll simply take out another forty bucks and buy a new one!' and with that he left a complete store full of shock people behind and is now banned by mom from going again" he watched as once again Astrid was recovering from laughing once again as Hiccup carried on.

"And don't get me started on mom, she and my aunt are coupon mad, I was only buying a new pillow for Toothless to lay on, they saw me without a coupon and tackled everyone between me and them just to give me one"

"Doesn't sound too bad Hiccup" Astrid reassured as he carried on.

"They were across the street from the store" he sighed as Astrid laughed once again.

Eventually after she recovered she decided to go with him to the electronics store just to keep him sane.

As they entered 'Svens electronics emporium' they were greeted by a grumpy old man named Mildew.

"Welcome to Sven's get your shit and get out. Have a nice day" he finished by showing a forced smile that creped the couple out as they walked away in search of where the visual section was.

Hiccup and Astrid got distracted a few times especially down the computer section then proceeded to feign a heart attack or two at the prices they were asking for something Hiccup and build up in under half that price, but finally made it to where the televisions were kept.

So many to choose from, big ones and small bedroom ones, but Hiccup had already set his eyes on one that'll do for Stoick.

A fifty inch LED smart television for two thousand dollars, that'll do well for him indeed and Hiccup could pay for it and go without getting handled by the sales person on here.

"Can I help you out sir?"

The gods must be laughing at him right now as he turned around, he knew he couldn't weasel his way out of this so just gave in.

"We're just gonna buy this TV and g..."

"Ah that one is the top of the line very nice, now have you got a serge protector for it?"

Hiccup thought about it and knew his dad didn't have one, for something like this he did want it to be damaged so settled on one for two hundred dollars only for it to be taken off him by the sales guy as he tossed it over his shoulder.

"What this one? Pah! I don't know why we have it out if you ask me, now here is what were talking about" he proceeded to show him the five hundred dollar one.

This is when Hiccup was getting annoyed.

"Pray tell, what does a five hundred dollar surge protector do that a two hundred dollar can't?"

The salesman straightened his tie as he tells Hiccup all about it as Astrid watches on while she has her phone out trying not to laugh.

"Well you see, you could have a lightening bolt come from Thor himself and hit your house and you'll still be able to watch your shows. In fact its so good, your house could blow up and the TV will still be on"

The guy nearly had Hiccup until that last past, now he was getting really annoyed.

"If my house blows up, I wouldn't give a shit if the TV was on! I'll be having other things on my mind, like funeral arrangements!" from that Hiccup picked up the two hundred dollar one get a disliking look from the guy but cleared his throat as he carried on with trying to get more money out of him.

"Okay would you like the TV to have sound?" Hiccups left eye started to twitch at that before shouting his reply.

"Yes I would like it to have sound! Can I have some sound please!"

The guy showed him a few but tried to sell him a two thousand dollar surround system, he declined it straight away as he had a bad experience when he stayed at Snotlouts one night only for him to keep checking his phone every time a ringing sound came on the TV. No he knew that'll drive his dad insane so settle for the six hundred range, pissing the sales guy off even more and Hiccup thought he was in the clear until the dreaded question reared it's ugly head.

"Would you like to buy the extended warrantee?"

Hiccup started twitching again and before he could say no the sales guy carried on with a scare tactic.

"You know, you should really get the extended warrantee, it's only manufacturers limited warrantee that comes with it and it's only for six months and if that expires then geez, we'd have to bring our guys in at least a week, some times between two and four guys, we may have to send it to Japan, could cost eighty thousand dollars! You could lose your house!"

Hiccup was now on the verge of kicking this guy right in the nuts he was that annoyed, but settled on revenge.

"Well if the TV costs eighty thousand to repair, I'd throw it away and save seventy eight thousand dollars" Astrid could see the cogs turning in her boyfriends mind as the sales guy looked speechless before trying to get to the point.

"Look I think you should have the extended warrantee so if you just sign he..."

"No! Why do I need an extended warrantee for?!" Hiccup cut in, taking the sales guy by surprise.

"In case the TV breaks"

"Well if the TV's gonna break I'm not buying it!" this scared him, never has anyone in his career ever said that to him, but Hiccup was having none of it as the sales guy tried to rectify the situation.

"This TV will not break sir, it's one of the best TVs in the store"

"Then why do I need an extended warrantee for?"

"In case the TV breaks!"

"If the TVs gonna break I'm not buying it!"

"It's not gonna break you son of a bitch!" the sales guy was getting pissed as the shouting match continued.

"Then why do I need an extended warrantee for?"

"Just sign! You have the money! I saw you on rise of the guardians!"

"That wasn't me! That was Jack Frost! You can't even get your skinny guys right! Now why do I need an extended warrantee for?!"

"Just shut up and sign!"

Hiccup lost it as he pointed to the door "get your ass outside now!"

Astrid was struggling not to laugh as he watched the while thing go on and even in the parking lot as both Hiccup and the sales guy duked it out only for it ended in a tie.

This was not Hiccup, he was a calm level headed guy, even said a little prayer as he looked at the guy and shouted "why do I need an extended warrantee for?!"

"In case the TV breaks!"

"If the TVs gonna break I'm not buying it!"

At this point the sales guy was breaking, he just usually scared them into buying a warrantee and that was that but now he was panicking.

"Please sir I swear to the god the TV will not break I've been here for over five years, not one has ever come back broken"

"Then why do I need an extended warrantee for?"

"In case the TV breaks! Are you a runt and stupid?!"

That's when Hiccup lost it entirely and beat the crap out of him, knocking him to the ground before dragging him back into the store and standing on his chest pointing a finger at him.

"Now I'm gonna ask you again, why do I need an extended warrantee for?"

"In case the TV breaks" he wheezed out, struggling to breathe with Hiccup standing on his lungs until, his removed his foot.

"Now I want you to know, though you may not live through the rest of the day, I admire your enthusiasm, so I'll ask you one more time, why do I need an extended warrantee for?"

"We get a hundred dollar bonus if you sign"

"Well then I'll take the extended warrantee, let me help you up" and with that Hiccup and Astrid leave the store with the TV in toe, leaving a beaten up salesman behind and Hiccup sporting a fat lip.

As they get in the car, Astrid can't help but burst out laughing making Hiccup roll his eyes as he saw what she was laughing at.

It was a video on her phone she recorded while in there.

"Why would you do that Astrid?!"

"Oh babe you're so cute when you're angry"

'So that's how she wants to play it' he thought to himself as he had a cunning plan.

"Before we go home milady, lets get a coffee to calm my nerves"

"Okay babe" she replied as Hiccup drove to 'Gobbers forge' the best coffee house in the city and also a very busy one too.

As they parked up and got into the facility, both Hiccup and Astrid ended up in a long queue. Hiccup didn't mind them, Astrid however struggled to keep cool in line as she impatiently tapped her foot, unaware Hiccup was recording her.

She looked over the top of the queue and saw they weren't going fast for her liking.

"You got coffee back there?! Why don't you use it and hurry up!" no tolerance for it in her opinion.

Hiccup meanwhile was trying not to chuckle as Astrid started mumbling curses, sounding more like a derange gremlin.

Astrid was really losing as she saw what was holding them up.

It was eldest grimborn brother Ryker, as he started to ask what they had.

That was it for Astrid.

"It's a coffee shop! They have coffee! You know what else they have?! Coffee! If you're waiting till now to decide then you're not ready to drink yet so get out the line!"

Ryker didn't like being talked to like that and proceeded to confront Astrid, bad mistake on his part as he tried to argue back but got cut off each time.

"now listen h..."

"Get out of the line!"

"Hold on n..."

"Get out of the line!"

see the crazed look in her eyes he saw there could be murder in his future if he carried on, not like he was like around here seeing as him and his brother usually terrorised the locals. He decided it wasn't worth it however as he left the facility leaving Astrid to calm herself down as Hiccup got her a double espresso the way she like it as they headed back to his.

Upon reaching the house, and dropping the TV in the lounge, they headed upstairs to fall on his bed, Astrid still laughing when she was watching Hiccups confrontation until she heard Hiccup chuckle as she looked over and saw he had his phone out too and watching something.

Her own meltdown in the queue.

Immediately she jumped Hiccup to grab for his phone only to land on top of him.

"Gimme that phone Haddock!"

"Why? You look so cute when you're angry"

That did it as she stopped struggling and showed him an evil grin and lust in her eyes.

"So you think I'm cute when I'm angry huh?"

Hiccup went wide eyed as he knew what was coming.

"Oh shit!"


End file.
